Host Grief Eros Ritual

What is Grief Eros?

Grief is a soul cleansing, a physical, energetic, & spiritual release that supports us to recover from loss & reorient to a new way of life. Eros is our natural human tendency to share joy, play, sensuality, sexuality & aliveness in ways that transform us. Grief Eros is what happens when all the ways eros has been denied during our life, now has the space & permission to be known… to be part of our wholeness.

Our bodies are designed to heal & to love. When we grieve, laugh, or orgasm, our bodies organically shake, release, & open to aliveness. We can call on this natural capacity any time when we set an intention to heal… to transform what is not yet love into love!

Have you ever had a cry-gasm? Our bodies are not trying to categorize what is grief & what is erotic. We don’t choose what we feel, we simply choose if we open to feel. When we choose to open, both grief & eros may flow through to dissolve our limitations & expand our felt sense of love. Grief Eros is one of the most powerful ways to connect with community & with spirit. We’d love to share it with you & your community!

Benefits of Grief Eros Ritual

• Release stuck energy

• Motivation for life

• Reconnect to your purpose

• Felt sense of belonging to a larger human family

• Felt sense of connection with source

• More access to joy, connection and trust

• Nervous system can ground, more access to rest and digest

• Befriending your body as an ally

• Capacity to be present

• New sense of possibility 

• Access to what you desire

• Permission and integration around wanting what you want

• Recognize who you have been socialized to be

• Make space for who you are truly meant to be

• Community affirmation of your dignity

• More access to forgiveness

• Restore wholeness around secure attachment, gender, race and eros

Unprocessed Grief Eros

• Hard to focus

• Less energy

• Trouble sleeping

• Depression and resignation

• Disconnect with purpose

• Compulsive screen use

• Feel alone

• Pain and fatigue in the body

• Difficulty trusting others

• Limited imagination

• Feeling stuck in the same thoughts

• Trouble initiating connection

• Difficulty with secure attachment

• Don’t know who your really are and what your truly want

Grief Eros Film & Ritual

Gather your people for this ritual, inspired by Sobonfu Somé, of the Dagara people in Burkina Faso (West Africa.) They believed, “if you want to protect yourselves from the enemy, teach the enemy how to grieve.” The safety of our human family, the Earth, & future generations depends on our capacity to grieve well. The solidarity, love, new innovations, ancestral support & vitality we need to move forward is waiting for us on the other side of these rituals. Let us gift you with the community & spiritual technology that Sobonfu generously brought to us westerners.

Z created the Grief Eros Film to honor & carry forth Sobonfu’s legacy. The film brings you in to the intimacy of our village grieving together around 4 themes: gender, secure attachment, race, & eros. These themes are often the areas in our life where we experience the most fear, isolation, division, & systemic oppression as a human family. Over the course of 6 days we share the film with space to grieve with each theme. We resource ourselves through dance, elemental altars, ancestral support, & song. Together we create a coherent field of love, one that is bigger than the suffering we are ready to let go of.

Bring the Ritual to Your People

“It is as difficult for indigenous people to conceive of life without a community as it is for most Westerners to imagine life in a community.” - Sobonfu Somé

One of the most powerful & healing things we can do at this time is to gather to create village through ritual. Bring us to your people!

Grief Eros Film & Ritual

This film & ritual is inspired by Sobonfu Somé, of the Dagara people in Burkina Faso (West Africa.) The Dagara believed, “if you want to protect yourselves from the enemy, teach the enemy how to grieve.” The safety of our human family, the Earth, & future generations depends on our capacity to grieve well. The solidarity, love, new innovations, ancestral support & vitality we need to move forward is waiting for us on the other side of these rituals. Sobonfu generously brought this spiritual technology to us in the West. Both Victor & Z had the honor of attending Sobonfu’s rituals.

Z created the Grief Eros Film to honor & carry forth Sobonfu’s legacy. The film brings you in to the intimacy of our village grieving together around 4 themes: gender, secure attachment, race, & eros. These themes are often the areas in our life where we experience the most fear, isolation, division, & systemic oppression as a human family.

Over the course of 6 days we share the film with space to grieve with each theme. We resource ourselves through dance, elemental altars, ancestral support, song & guided touch. Together we create a coherent field of love, one that is bigger than the suffering we are ready to let go of.

Watch Interview with Z

Book Us for a 6 day Ritual

This best serves groups of 30 - 60 people in an onsite retreat.

• Space & Nourishment Requirements

  • Large dance studio where we can be loud with adjustable lighting & temperature

  • Access to a body of water (ideal if creek, river, or ocean access onsite, it can also be within driving distance)

  • Space to host our team and participants

  • Team needs space & food day before and day after the ritual (total of 8 days)

  • Healthy food provided for team and participants (no processed sugar, no alcohol)

• Tech Requirements

  • Sound system in dance studio where we can plug in this mic (wide aux input, ¼”)

  • 2 - 3 more wireless headsets so all mics can be used simultaneously

  • Large TV screen 75” is ideal

  • Adaptors to from Mac Book Pro (2025) to TV

• Financial Requirements

  • $15,000 for Z’s facilitation & directing team

  • $24,000 for 3 assisting facilitators

  • $5,000 for master drummer

  • $5,000 for emotional support assistant

  • Travel expenses for whole team

  • $2000 contribution to Dagara for cultural reciprocity

  • $150 for props (twine, flowers, vases, tissues, altar fabric/structures)

  • Please note this is for an existing group & does not include marketing, promotion or managing logistics for food or accommodations.

  • If you do not have a project manager to organize food, accommodations, tech logistics, we can provide one for an additional fee.

  • $8,000 deposit is due to secure booking our team. 50% is due 10 days before the event. The balance is due within 5 days after the event.

Arc of our Time

Day 1:

• Connect with land, create altars, call in elemental & ancestral support

• Intro to Grief & Eros, intro to Sobonfu Somé & Dagara people

• Connect as community through dance

• Sociometry: who’s here?

Day 2:

• Morning dance & energy practices

• Intro to Secure Attachment (film & journaling prompts)

• Sharing pods & sociometry

• Learn the grief ritual song & structure

• Grief ritual on Secure Attachment

Day 3:

• Morning dance & energy practices

• Intro to Gender (film & journaling prompts)

• Sharing pods & sociometry

• Grief ritual on Gender

Day 4:

• Morning dance & energy practices

• Intro to Race (film & journaling prompts)

• Sharing pods & sociometry

• Grief ritual on Race

Day 5:

• Morning dance & energy practices

• Intro to Eros (film & journaling prompts)

• Sharing pods & sociometry

• Grief ritual on Eros (optional flogging)

• Release grief to the water

Day 6:

• Morning dance & energy practices

• Thank & close altars

• Integration & gratitude

• Clarify next step to dedicate the energy you freed up here

Integration Zoom 7 - 10 days later:

• Reconnect & reflect (75 min)

Facilitation Team