Book a Grief Eros Ritual

Being us to your people! Grow village & deepen connection with spirit to give us strength to meet these times. Learn to ground as we soften & tremble open with full hearts. It is time to become indivisible, to build a movement beyond single issues as if they live in a vacuum. It’s time to tend the history of our peoples, the history in our bodies. This 5 day ritual best serves groups of 30 - 60 people.

What is Grief Eros?

Grief is a soul cleansing, a physical, energetic, & spiritual release that supports us to recover from loss & reorient to a new way of life. Eros is our natural human tendency to share joy, play, sensuality, sexuality & aliveness in ways that transform us. Grief Eros is what happens when all the ways eros has been denied during our life, now has the space & permission to be known… to be part of our wholeness.

Our bodies are designed to heal & to love. When we grieve, laugh, or orgasm, our bodies organically shake, release, & open to aliveness. We can call on this natural capacity any time when we set an intention to heal… to transform what is not yet love into love!

Have you ever had a cry-gasm? Our bodies are not trying to categorize what is grief & what is erotic. We don’t choose what we feel, we simply choose if we open to feel. When we choose to open, both grief & eros may flow through to dissolve our limitations & expand our felt sense of love. Grief Eros is one of the most powerful ways to connect with community & with spirit.

Grief Eros Film & Ritual

This film & ritual is inspired by Sobonfu Somé, of the Dagara people in Burkina Faso (West Africa.) The Dagara believed, “if you want to protect yourselves from the enemy, teach the enemy how to grieve.” The safety of our human family, the Earth, & future generations depends on our capacity to grieve well. The solidarity, love, new innovations, ancestral support & vitality we need to move forward is waiting for us on the other side of these rituals. Sobonfu generously brought this spiritual technology to us in the West. Both Victor & Z had the honor of attending Sobonfu’s rituals.

Z created the Grief Eros Film to honor & carry forth Sobonfu’s legacy. The film brings you in to the intimacy of our village grieving together around 4 themes: gender, secure attachment, race, & eros. These themes are often the areas in our life where we experience the most fear, isolation, division, & systemic oppression as a human family.

Over the course of 5 days we share the film with space to grieve with each theme. We resource ourselves through dance, elemental altars, ancestral support, song & guided touch. Together we create a coherent field of love, one that is bigger than the suffering we are ready to let go of.

Watch Interview with Z

Book Us for a 5 day Ritual

• Space & Nourishment Requirements

  • Large dance studio where we can be loud with adjustable lighting & temperature

  • Access to a body of water (ideal if creek, river, or ocean access onsite, it can also be within driving distance)

  • Space to host our team and participants (team needs space day before and day after the ritual)

  • Healthy food provided for team and participants (no processed sugar, no alcohol)

• Tech Requirements

  • Sound system in dance studio where I can plug in my mic (wide aux input, ¼”)

  • 2 more wireless headsets so Victor, Bernadette & I can use them at same time

  • I will play the film from my macbook pro adaptors

  • Large TV screen 75” is ideal

  • Adaptors to show film from Mac Book Pro (2025) onto screen

• Financial Requirements

  • $10,000 - $12,000 for Z’s lead facilitation & directing the team

  • $6,000 for Bernadette’s assistant facilitation

  • $6,000 for Victor’s assistant facilitation

  • $4,000 for master drummer

  • $1500 for each of the angels (recommend 2 - 3 depending on group size)

  • Travel expenses for whole team

  • $2000 contribution to Dagara for cultural reciprocity

  • $150 for props (twine, flowers, vases, tissues, altar fabric/structures)

  • Please note this is for an existing group & does not include marketing, promotion or managing logistics for food or accommodations.

Arc of our Time

Day 1:

• Connect with land, create altars, call in elemental & ancestral support

• Intro to Grief & Eros

• Connect as community through dance

• Learn basic energy practices

Day 2:

• Morning dance & energy practices

• Intro to Secure Attachment (film & journaling prompts)

• Sharing pods & sociometry

• Learn the grief ritual song & structure

• Grief ritual on Secure Attachment

Day 3:

• Morning dance & energy practices

• Intro to Race (film & journaling prompts)

• Sharing pods & sociometry

• Grief ritual on Race

Day 4:

• Morning dance & energy practices

• Intro to Gender (film & journaling prompts)

• Sharing pods & sociometry

• Grief ritual on Gender

Day 5:

• Morning dance & energy practices

• Intro to Eros (film & journaling prompts)

• Sharing pods & sociometry

• Grief ritual on Eros (optional flogging)

• Release altar to the water

• Thank & close altars

• Integration

• Clarify next step to dedicate the energy you freed up here

Integration Zoom 7 - 10 days later:

• Reconnect & reflect (75 min)

Facilitation Team

Master Drummer

Angel Team