Grief Eros 4 Day Ritual — Embody More Love

Come grow village & deepen connection with spirit to give us strength to meet these times. Learn to ground as we soften & tremble open with full hearts. It is time to become indivisible, to build a movement beyond affinity groups & single issues. It’s time to tend the history of our peoples, the history in our bodies. Come gather for a 4 day Grief Eros Ritual with 50 people. We will nest together at Shadowcliff Lodge, on the edge of the Rocky Mountains, by the Tonahutu Creek & the Grand Lake in Colorado, traditionally known as the land of the Ute people. Nourishing meals will be provided.

Who this ritual is for?

People who are tired of the limits of affinity spaces: “my anti-racist friends don’t explore erotic liberation, my sexual empowerment friends don’t explore anti-racism, my gender expansive friends don’t know about grief ritual, my grief ritual community is unconsciously heteronormative…” I’m ready to connect with people who see the big picture & the fertile ground for intersectional liberation. Come connect with others who want to integrate our communities & these parts of ourselves.

Social justice activists and visionary liberation leaders who have lost hope, feel compassion fatigue, long for joy, or feel alone: This film & ritual offer healing & inspiration. The film centers intimacy between black, brown, queer, and trans bodies willing to tremble open, connect, and heal. It calls us home to our hearts, to create more relational resilience, joy, awe, & pleasure in our liberation movements.

People who are already seasoned in exploring race, gender, & eros: This is NOT a 101 introduction for people who are new to these 3 topics. Which means, you have already experienced some trainings, workshops, books, or mentorship on these topics. You are ready to go deeper with other seasoned folx. (If you are new to exploring race & gender this is not for you, but you may start here.)

People who have capacity to be in a room with 50 people that welcomes erotic self connection including vocal sounds, undulations, shaking, & erotic flow of energy. We will keep underwear on, we will NOT explore sexual activity between people. We are welcoming erotic energy internally in service to personal & collective liberation. This is NOT for you if you have experienced a past sexual trauma or violation that is still very active in your body. (That is important & sacred work. We ask you to find a smaller, slower container that is designed to hold you well with this focus. We encourage you to look for local somatic sexuality therapists, coaches or guides.) The size, pace & design of this ritual is most aligned for people who already have some experience feeling safe in a group space with eros.

Healers, facilitators, & guides who are curious about the spiritual nature of grief: Learn the heart ritual that Sobonfu Somé brought from Burkina Faso, West African, to the West for collective healing. Explore beyond the Western model of therapy, beyond grief as only an emotion. These times are asking us to become skilled with grief in our own hearts & for those we serve.

Grief ritualists & aspiring grief ritualists who want to honor where grief ritual came from: Deepen your focus on reciprocity with the Dagara Tribe. Learn ways to support & build relationship with the Dagara people today. Sobonfu is in the film! Hear her stories & feel her presence. Connect with others who knew Sobonfu or Malidoma. Carry forth their gift & legacy!
Directors of sexuality conferences, festivals, & sex pro trainings who want to create more awareness, diversity, & heart-centered inclusivity in the sexuality field: This film & ritual shows how sexual energy can be devoted to collective liberation as a resource for transforming trauma. It explores the connection between grief & eros in the body. It is a welcoming and generous way to bring more awareness to predominantly white, cis, heteronormative communities. It calls us to uplift the sexuality field from a more authentic & whole place.

What is Grief Eros?

Grief is a soul cleansing, a physical, energetic, & spiritual release that supports us to recover from loss & reorient to a new way of life. Eros is our natural human tendency to share joy, play, sensuality, sexuality & aliveness in ways that transform us. Grief Eros is what happens when all the ways eros has been denied during our life, now has the space & permission to be known… to be part of our wholeness.

Our bodies are designed to heal & to love. When we grieve, laugh, or orgasm, our bodies organically shake, release, & open to aliveness. We can call on this natural capacity any time when we set an intention to heal… to transform what is not yet love into love!

Have you ever had a cry-gasm? Our bodies are not trying to categorize what is grief & what is erotic. We don’t choose what we feel, we simply choose if we open to feel. When we choose to open, both grief & eros may flow through to dissolve our limitations & expand our felt sense of love. Grief Eros is one of the most powerful ways to connect with community & with spirit.

Grief Eros Film & Ritual

This film & ritual is inspired by Sobonfu Somé, of the Dagara people in Burkina Faso (West Africa.) The Dagara believed, “if you want to protect yourselves from the enemy, teach the enemy how to grieve.” The safety of our human family, the Earth, & future generations depends on our capacity to grieve well. The solidarity, love, new innovations, ancestral support & vitality we need to move forward is waiting for us on the other side of these rituals. Sobonfu generously brought this spiritual technology to us in the West. Both Victor & Z had the honor of attending Sobonfu’s rituals.

Z created the Grief Eros Film to honor & carry forth Sobonfu’s legacy. The film brings you in to the intimacy of our village grieving together around 4 themes: gender, secure attachment, race, & eros. These themes are often the areas in our life where we experience the most fear, isolation, division, & systemic oppression as a human family.

Over the course of 4 days we share the film with space to grieve with each theme. We resource ourselves through dance, elemental altars, ancestral support, song & guided touch. Together we create a coherent field of love, one that is bigger than the suffering we are ready to let go of.

Get a taste with the online intro

Join us for a 90 min online intro including an excerpt of the Grief Eros Film. Come meet Z & Victor. Ask us questions!

Tuesday, July 22, 6 pm pst | 7 pm mst | 8 pm cst | 9 pm est

Learn more & join the intro here!

Watch the Trailer

Facilitation Team

Z Griss

(they/them) is the visionary & director of the Grief Eros Film. Z has been guiding community rituals for personal & cultural liberation since 1999, as the founder of Embody More Love. Z’s life changed after experiencing Grief Rituals with Sobonfu Somé. Z has been called to carry forth her legacy & to weave it with dance & erotic liberation. Z is thrilled to be visiting Sobonfu’s family & village this fall to deepen the bridges & reciprocity with the Dagara Tribe! You may learn more about Z here.

Victor Warring

(he/him) is a somatic sexuality educator, mentor, & an erotic decolonizer. He holds a BA in Cultural Anthropology from Franklin & Marshall College, & an MA in Somatic Psychology from Naropa University. He worked for 20 years as a somatically oriented psychotherapist in both private practice & agency work before embarking on his current practice of somatic sexuality work & community facilitation. He brings his experience in psychology, trauma, grief, movement, play, culture & the body to all of his work. In 2013, Victor took part in a community grief ritual led by Sobonfu Somé, which profoundly impacted his life & led to much of the weaving of village, ritual, indigenous wisdom & community held grief into his work. Learn more at ReWildEros.com.

Production & Angel Team

Details coming for our growing team…

Kiana Love

Cari Caldwell

Yana Aytes

Julia Taylor