What to Expect at Trembling Open

This ritual may be unlike other experiences you’ve attended. Please read these guidelines for what to expect.

1. What the ritual is and is not

This is a group ritual to move energy to open our hearts. It is not a ritual for complaining or making ourselves right in a world that doesn’t get us. It is a ritual to heal so we have more vitality and love to share.

This is a ritual that partners with the wisdom of the body. It is not a time to tell a story about what you are grieving. It is a time to use movement, sound, and touch to transform what you are grieving.

This is a space that honors your full expression including your grief, laughter, and sexual energy. You are welcome to move and make sounds as you let go of tension. Yes, you are welcome to experience arousal and joy. There is no “right way to grieve.” We will keep our clothes on. This is a space where you can ask for non genital touch that supports your grieving.

This is not a play party. This is not a space with a focus on sexual connection however it is an opportunity to ask for sexual touch that supports you to grieve. It is not 2 way touch, when you are grieving you are only receiving touch, not giving it back. You do not need to ask for or offer touch in order to fully participate. You can always say no to an ask. There is great power in simply witnessing without touch.

If you are supporting/witnessing someone grieving you are simply providing what is asked for to the extent that you are comfortable. You are not “fixing” or “healing” someone. You are supporting the wisdom of their body and their unique way of grieving. Your touch is not for your own arousal it is in service to what they want.

2. Our approach

This ritual is inspired by Sobonfu Some’s grief rituals of the Dagara Tribe. It also includes embodiment practices and vocal practices to open the body and support grieving and integration. We recognize that the trembling of crying, laughing, and orgasm are all similar in the body. This trembling is an opening for transformation and healing. We partner with the wisdom of the body. We see eros as sacred, the natural part of us that shares joy, play, and the essence of who we really are. We welcome it into the space to free up energy to open our hearts.

3. Sobriety

We ask that you refrain from using alcohol or recreational drugs for the duration of the ritual. This does not include prescription medications you are taking. The ritual creates a shared group experience that we ask you to be fully present for.

4. Integration

Everyone has a unique experience grieving. It can be common to want deep rest after the ritual. It is wise to create gentleness for yourself the next few days. Salt baths, time in nature, nourishing foods, spaciousness in your schedule, and time with loved ones are all great ways to support your integration. You might consider scheduling time with a loved one in the day or two following the ritual so you can share about your experience. We recommend inviting your loved ones to join us for the Friday Intro so they can learn about what you are up to and have a shared context when you return to them.