I’ve been creating “Submission,” a solo dance performance for the Halloween Masquerade Puja Party on Saturday, Oct 29, 2011 at the annual Sacred Sexuality Round Up. I recently started offering classes after a 10 month break. I’m discovering that during the sabatical from creating classes, I was creating something less visible, a new way of experiencing myself. Now that I’m returning to teaching and choreographing dances the experience has changed. Tonight the solo came to visit me.This solo cannot see. She can listen. She is willing, supple, and She does not scatter me as She moves me. She is Submission. She has come to speak to me this time not as a lover, not as an obstacle, not as the all mighty… in the familiar forms. She teaches me to surrender without collapsing.She rotates my thighs slowly in the caves of my hip sockets. Her timing is just a touch more graceful than the timing of tentativeness. Then She whips me with movement in a way that is similar to ecstatic bowing, wrestling, chanting, whirling, flying on merry-go-rounds, vomitting violently, and head banging. She makes me feel the delicacy of my physicality.
There is some part of me that is not delicate and not physical, that I live from in these moments.
She touches me as air surrounding my warm skin. She tosses my spine at times just to assure Herself that I am not bracing or defending my posture. Ninety minutes into rehearsal She pops me out of the studio to sit and recognize Her with these words. I hope to receive Her again. I want Her to take me. I plan to go home and turn on the music and wait for Her to join me again. She is mentoring me to serve.